


i want to keep us compromising

by fluffpunk (hipsterophelia), junkets (twentyshadows), TomodaErika



Series: the life of basil and dorian [2]
Category: The Picture of Dorian Gray - Oscar Wilde
Genre: Adoption, M/M, Modern AU, adrian the turtle, scrambled eggs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-29
Updated: 2015-03-29
Packaged: 2018-03-20 03:31:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,101
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3635001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hipsterophelia/pseuds/fluffpunk, https://archiveofourown.org/users/twentyshadows/pseuds/junkets, https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomodaErika/pseuds/TomodaErika
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I don’t want a daughter, I want Harry to be happy!” </p><p>In which Dorian adopts Lord Henry and Basil just wants to eat his scrambled eggs in peace.</p>
            </blockquote>





	i want to keep us compromising

It was a beautiful Wednesday in August that was… extraordinary calm. Which was weird, considering that Basil’s life could seldom be described as calm. He was in the kitchen, making himself some scrambled eggs for luncheon while listening to his favourite radio station that played classical music that always inspired his painting. This calmness was violently interrupted by the front door being thrown open and Dorian storming inside, his hair doing the shampoo commercial thing that it is usually doing.

“Basil!” Dorian cried and flung his fur aside. “We are parents!”

Basil stopped for awhile, doing that fish thing with his mouth, letting the words sink in, before replying:   
“We are what?” not as surprised as one should be, believing that Dorian would have brought home a cat or something, maybe an otter, as he remembered Dorian talking about how he really wished they had another cat only last week.

“Parents!” Dorian cried and flung himself on the closest chair. “Parents, Basil. We have a child!”

“What have you brought home this time?”

Dorian looked around the kitchen, a bit insecure, as he took off the rings from his fine, slender fingers  and started to nervously playing with them.

“You know how you always said you wanted a daughter…” he said without really meeting Basil’s eyes. A smell of burned scrambled eggs had started to spread around the small room.

“I never said that?” Basil replied, not paying much attention to his now very burned luncheon.

“Well, maybe you did not but I said that I wanted one and you didn’t really disagree…”

“When was this? Because I’m pretty sure you said you didn’t care much for children” Basil answered, now turning to his scrambled eggs, as he no longer could ignore the hideous smell. Maybe he could spice them up with some basil to save his precious luncheon, but then he realised it had been burned to the bottom of the pan, so he decided to just have some toast

instead.

“Well we have a daughter now, what are you going to do about it?” Dorian questioned.

“What sort of animal have you brought home this time?”   
“Well, not exactly an animal… If you don’t consider homosapiens as an animal, which I mean, some scientists does…” Dorian mumbled more to himself than to anyone else.

“Okay” Basil sighed, almost falling over the turtle Adrian that had entered the kitchen while they were talking, as he slowly walked towards a chair. “So, where is this child now? Where did you find it? You didn’t steal it, did you?”

“Of course I didn’t!” Dorian cried. “She willingly signed the adoption papers!”

“But.. But… I can’t take care of a child! We don’t have the experience, or the money…”

“Eh, she’s got money of her own” Dorian interrupted.

“But… What?”

“Well…” Dorian replied, scratching his swanlike neck.

“How old is this child…?” Basil asked.

“How about…” Dorian slowly replied, counting on his fingers. “Ten…?”

“Uh-huh”

“...Years older than me?”

“What” Basil exclaimed. “A thirty year-old isn’t a child! You can’t legally adopt a thirty year-old!”

As he was just in the middle of scolding his boyfriend, Lord Henry entered the room.

“Harry!” Basil cried as Henry flung himself down a chair opposite Dorian and lit a cigarette. “I’m so glad you’re here, can you believe it? Dorian has adopted a thirty year-old woman! We have a daughter! Is this your doing? And for the mother of God, you can’t smoke in here!”

He threw the window open and frantically fanned with a kitchen towel.

“Dorian, what is his rambling about?” Henry said not caring about Basil’s comment on his cigarette. “I never cared much for children. The only people who care about children are old people and very young people, who, as a matter of fact, might be defined as children themself. Now, dear Basil, I think I’ve raised Dorian better than to adopt a daughter. Daughters are completely useless, what could they possibly do in life? The only two things women are good for are being pretty and… Oh, I forgot the other one, never mind, it wasn’t important. So, no, I don’t believe that is true, Basil”

“Well, Basil dear…” Dorian smiled with a slight taint of roses on his cheeks, his upper lip trembling faintly. “Meet our daughter, Lord Henry”

Basil stopped moving his towel, as a matter of fact, he stopped moving at all, and started with a puzzled look at Dorian, his voice completely changed:

“What the fuck”

“Harry signed the papers yesternight -”

“So that’s what it was? I was thinking about that earlier…” Henry interrupted.

“Funny thing papers, the only thing…” he continued, and he kept on speaking as Basil dragged Dorian into the living room, ignoring the fact that the only one listening was the hamster Bill.

“How on earth did you come up with this?” Basil exclaimed.

“But he looked so lonely… I don’t think he has any parents” Dorian said, his clear blue eyes suddenly filled with tears.

“But you don’t have any parents either”   
“No, but I have you - now Harry does too, so he doesn’t have to be lonely anymore!” Dorian said triumphantly.   
“But he has a wife!” Basil cried.

“I don’t think she likes him at all, Basil” he said disparagingly.

“But I don’t like him either! If you would have wanted a daughter we could have got one, but not Lord fucking Henry!”

“I don’t want a daughter, I want Harry to be happy!”

“Well, I didn’t sign anything so I technically I can leave now… I. don’t. want. Lord. Henry. as. my. daughter.”  

“No!” Dorian cried and flung himself around Basil’s neck. “Basil, you can’t leave me!”

“Okay, then we have to get rid of Lord Henry, I can’t do this” Basil sighed, patting Dorian’s head. And then they walked into the kitchen in a silent agreement. Meanwhile, Lord Henry had started another cigarette and was just finishing his monologue:

“And that is why I can’t stand painters!”   

“And I can’t stand you” Basil cried. “Now out from my kitchen!”

“Wasn’t I your daughter?” Henry said languidly.

“Well, they haven’t exactly accepted the papers yet, and I faked Basil’s signature so they might not confirm it…” Dorian explained quietly.

“Well, I have more important things to do!” Henry cried, obviously not offended. “I actually have luncheon with this very important…”

He was cut short by Basil slamming the front door in his face.

“So, can we get a puppy instead?” Dorian said excitedly.

“Sure, we can get a puppy” Basil muttered.

“Can we get Lord Henry a puppy too?”

**Author's Note:**

> sorry.  
> if you read this you are an amazing person and we love you.


End file.
